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A Review of {w}hole by Lisa Whittle

Three years ago, when I was new to the blog world, I took part in my first blog-hosted book study.

Lelia Chealey hosted a study of Lisa Whittle’s book, Behind Those Eyes

I felt as if the book was written just for me. Graciously, Lisa took part in our online community. She visited our blogs and commented on our bare-hearted reflections.

From that time on, I’ve been blessed to call Lisa my friend. For some reason, she has chosen to take interest in the condition of my heart and soul.

Consistently, she speaks the same truth into my life. Be real! Be well! Be whole!

I’ve been anticipating her new book, {w}hole, for more than a year…probably two.

It was worth the wait.

A lot of truth is packed into eight chapters, friends.

Lisa is tired of seeing life hold us back from living.

The whole story–the story of wholeness, whereby Jesus fills the voids within that are left in the aftermath of life experiences. It is the wellness of our souls from His healing presence in our lives. It is exactly what we need when we are limited by the gaping holes from our journey–and yet those holes can become exactly the pathway to craving  the completion God brings. Our holes may be a necessary part of the journey, but wholeness can become the new story of our life.

I want my life to point people to Jesus. I really do. I want every, single moment of my life to be currency God can spend for His pleasure.

But, like Lisa, “my desire to serve Him [is] often overtaken by the compromises and circumstances of my life.”

We allow our life experiences to define us when they were meant to refine us.

In {w}hole, Lisa shares how God filled in the holes made by her religion, her roles, and her life experiences.

The Hole of Religion

Performing a religious song and dance leaves us exhausted and empty.

Somehow, we come to believe that religious performance will give us the closeness to God we crave.

We pretend to be satisfied and spiritual because we want others to believe the life we’ve chosen is working. We want to believe it’s working. But it’s not working because it’s all about religion. It’s all about the performance and how others perceive it.

Unfortunately, when we pretend to have it all together, we alienate others who know they don’t. And we alienate ourselves from what we want the most…intimacy with Christ.

However…

When we dig into the Word just to know Him, God will fill in the holes with His truth.

When we pray for the sake of heart-to-heart communication with God, He will sing loves songs to our spirits, cheer us on,  and whisper instructions.

When we serve out of sheer love for God and people, we’ll go to bed at night weary in body but rejuvenated in spirit.

When we are no longer weighed down by the expectations of a misplaced faith in religion for its own sake, we are free to develop the personal communion with God we are created to enjoy.

And when we have that intimate, meaningful relationship with Christ, people will notice. And they’ll wonder about it. And they’ll want the presence of God for themselves.

The Hole of Roles

All of us wear a multitude of hats: daughter, wife, mother, church member, career person, friend.

It’s easy to let one or more of our roles define our worth, and then, if we happen to lose that role, we lose our worth as well.

In {w}hole, Lisa shares her story about losing her role as pastor’s daughter when her father went through the heart-wrenching loss of his pastorate.

Watching her father endure cruel scrutiny, stone-hearted rejection, and spirit-crushing depression turned Lisa’s heart and life upside down. Nothing was as it once was. And, like most of us, Lisa longed for the familiar.

In the moments we most cling to the roles  that have defined us, we fail to realize that losing what we think we are opens up the opportunity for God to show us our true created self.

Sometimes, our roles change naturally such as when a mother’s first born baby boy grows up and leaves home for college. (Yes…this will be me in a few short months. Wahhhhhh)

Other times, our roles are ripped from us without our permission and with little to no warning.

A spouse dies suddenly leaving a young widow to raise children on her own.

Unemployment forces a family to move cross country leaving behind a neighborhood network, comfortable friendships and ministry roles. 

A friendship is fractured and restoration isn’t likely.

The roles we have in life often hold our hearts in their hands, so when the roles are taken away, our hearts are dropped and broken. We have depended on them to fulfill us, and that has created a hole.

Our roles are gifts to cherish and take seriously, but they are “simply what [we are] blessed to do while God chooses to leave [us] here on earth.”

The role that truly defines who we are is “child of God.” Period. “The choice to primarily identify ourselves with God is the very thing that can make our soul well. Our roles are beautiful, but they can’t be our link to life.”

The Hole of Experiences

We each have a story. Our personal story can be a conduit for the message of Christ to flow from one life to another–the single greatest convincer to the world that Jesus is real. But the biggest snag  that message can hit is when we make our experiences (both good and bad) our story. We have to understand: our story is what happens between Jesus and us in the pages of our earthly journey.

Lisa shares her experience of a church plant that started and ended in a little over a year. The experience could have caused the Whittles to quit ministry altogether. I’m sure it caused them to doubt their spiritual hearing. I’m sure it caused them to ask God, “What the heck is this all about, Lord?”

But they refused to allow the experience to own them.

When we allow our experiences to own us, they limit us and make us feel powerless to their control. When our experiences have power, they are allowed to become our story, which produces holes. But we own our experiences; they do not own us. This understanding puts the power back in our hands to choose how much they will influence our life. It’s a beautiful thing to know and one that will result in great and lasting freedom.

Again, our experiences aren’t our story. The development of our relationship with Christ in the midst of them is.

Jesus is our story.

My friend Lisa knows about holes, and she knows about being whole. We all have holes, but not everyone experiences wholeness.

Wholeness comes when we are willing to do whatever it takes to allow God to make our souls well.

Are you willing?

Because I believe so strongly in the message {w}hole contains, I am going to purchase a copy to give away with my own piddly teacher’s salary. The winner can choose between a hard copy of the book from Amazon or the e-book for their favorite reader.

Tyndale House gave me my copy with no strings attached. I was not required to write a positive review, but once I read the book, I just had to share about it…I know too many “hole-y” people who need to know how to find wholeness through Jesus Christ.

I can spot them because I’m one of them.

If you want to win a copy of {w}hole by Lisa Whittle, leave a comment on this post about a hole you want filled. Post additional comments letting me know of your generous sharing of the link on Twitter or FB and your chances will be increased. The winner will be announced on Tuesday, November 8th.

Be sure to subscribe to Lisa’s blog where she continues to share the “whole story.”

A Review of Walking into Walls by Steve Arterburn

A while back, I received a tweet from PR by the Book looking for folks to read Steve Arterburn’s new book, Walking into Walls.

Well, it just so happens, the forehead of my heart is pretty beat up from walking into so many walls over the course of my adult life.

So I replied to the tweet and asked for a review copy of the book.

The book was sent to me with no strings attached. They just asked that I write a review if the book resonated with me in any way.

So, here I am with my copy of Walking into the Walls: 5 Blind Spots that Block God’s Work in You sitting beside me, bleeding with pink highlighter. It resonated alright.

Walking into Walls (Worthy Publishing, August 2011), identifies the five “blind spots” that cause us to make poor choices: stubborn resistance, self-centered entitlement, justifiable resentment, blind ignorance, and disconnected isolation.

Steve Arterburn doesn’t just inform readers about the walls, he shares practical guidance on how to stop banging our heads against them.

Through his work with New Life Ministries, Arterburn encounters men and women who desperately want to be healed from their hurts and hang-ups but keep repeating the same toxic patterns over and over…walking into walls, if you will.

My initial response to Steve’s introductory statement was a mixture of skepticism and hope.

Even if you were living in the worst possible abusive situation or the most neglectful and disconnected relationship, you may have built a wall that keeps you stuck in a dark place where you don’t have to stay. Once you take responsibility, you will find new hope and insight as you get your life unstuck and move past your wall.

I’ve read a boat-load of Christian books, but consistent emotional health seems to continue slipping from my desperate grasp.

Of all the books I’ve read, Walking into Walls spelled things out the most clearly. Steve Arterburn’s matter-of-fact style kept me reading. He didn’t waltz around the hard things. He spoke the truth in love.

The walls that hold us back are often constructions built in our own minds from incomplete or misunderstood pieces of reality and combined half-truths woven together in a way that builds a false perception of the truth. In that sense, what often stops us are barriers that aren’t really there.

Steve doesn’t discount the very real pain many of us have experienced. His compassion and understanding are evident throughout the book. But he understands that we allow our past and present trauma to multiply by the way we think about it.

He provides insight on how to change the way we think about our hurts and the people who perpetrated those hurts.

From romantic relationships and family bonds to job growth and satisfaction to health and recovery, Walking into Walls covers all areas for “getting unstuck” and moving into the future. The book also takes great care to distinguish the differences between walls and personal boundaries and offers a study guide for continued future use. (PR by the Book)

A straight-forward read, I recommend Walking into Walls to any wounded soul who wants to move past the pain and experience a full life without walls.

For more about Walking into Walls, hop on over to walkingintowalls.net.

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