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Mismatched Shoes

December 7, 2011 in presence of God, rest, restless with 2 Comments

This is my life....close but not quite right. SIGH
What I wore to work today.
In my mad rush to get out the door this morning, I wore mismatched shoes. I clomped around all over my junior high campus for close to two hours before I even noticed.
Same color. Same style. Same fit. But as I stalked through the courtyard from one classroom to another, I noticed one foot clipped and the other one clopped.
I stopped mid-clop and stared down at my feet…right as my assistant principal walked by. We shared a laugh over my shoe dilemma…we’ve known each other for seven years…he knows I’m a little off.
Mismatched shoes. Perfect picture of my life these days.
At first glance, everything looks just fine.
I’m spending time in the Word and in prayer most every day.
I’m eating right and walking myself several times a week.
I’m loving on my fellas and keeping all their underwear washed.
I’m teaching my special junior high cherubs whether they want to be taught or not.
But something’s not quite right.
My mind, heart, and spirit are restless.
Wafting back and forth between anticipation and anxiety. Peace and paranoia. Contentment and questions. Clip. Clop. Clip. Clop.
My weary feet are now bare with chipped blue polish leftover from an August pedicure.
But they match. I think God likes it when we get bare before Him. When we kick off our roles and goals and just pitter patter around in His presence.
It feels good to rest my feet and my blistered spirit.
Lord, I’m tired. Worn out. Burned out on lots of things. My feet won’t budge another step, but I’m crawling…crawling to Your feet. I want my life back! I want to know what true rest is. I want to be Your constant companion and apprentice. Teach me the “unforced rhythms of grace.” I’m loaded down with weighty burdens of my own making. Clip. Clop. Drop. I’m laying it all down in exchange for real life…light and free. (Matthew 11:28-30 MSG)

Slow and Steady

September 29, 2011 in rest, trust with 0 Comments

I am worn slap out.

I wonder how many blog posts I’ve started with that statement?

In two days, I’ll hang up my Payne Panthers lanyard for two glorious weeks. As much as I love my job and my students, I am always way ready when a break rolls around.

Life has been sorta tricky for the last several weeks.

Work challenges and family challenges have kept me hopping.

Normally, I feel such an overwhelming compulsion to fix everything that I stir myself up into a frenzy.

Not this time.

Yes, I’m concerned. I’m curious about how God will work everything out. I have moments of sadness. But my peace is still in tact.

I’m moving slow, but I’m steady.

Next week, I’m flying off to Louisiana to spend a week with my sister and brother-in-love. I’ll get to hold my daddy’s hand. I may get to meet a few friends and cousins for lunch or sweet tea. My aunties are coming in for a couple days. I can’t think of next week without smiling.

I hope to do a little brainstorming with some LA women’s ministry pals about how to begin building a support system for my beloved Heart of Mesa sisters. I hesitate to call it launching a women’s ministry because I stink at organizing. But I shine at loving.

The second week of break will be spent at home with my guys. We’ll do a little housework and a lot of slacking off.

Despite my weary body and mind, my soul is settled. Jesus loves me and has my life in His hands.

He adores my family, my co-workers, and my friends. I have no cause to worry or fret because He is everything.

Lord, I need this break something awful. I need more sleep, more down-time, and more time just sitting in Your presence. But, I have to say “thanks” for being everything I could ever need. Keep me leaning hard on You. Keep me trusting in Your unfailing love. Keep me choosing to do things Your way.

In Jesus’ Name I pray, AMEN

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