Have you ever felt as if you must get some things off your chest or you’ll just plain burst?
Well, that’s where I find myself at this season of my life. I just turned 40, and I keep hearing the Lord affirming to my spirit that I’m just getting into the most exciting and productive days of my life! I’m excited!
I don’t think it’s an accident that the Lord allowed me to go through some of my most difficult days in the couple of years leading up to my 40th birthday. Losing five family members in less than two years was horrific, but God doesn’t allow pain unless there’s a purpose behind it. The repeated tidal waves of grief that hit me in 2008 and 2009 were used by God to begin tearing down the strongholds of insecurity and fear that have held me captive for most of my life.
Finally, I found the courage to seek some counseling, which helped me clear the rubble and allow God to build up a mighty fortress of truth around my tender heart. That building process will likely continue for the rest of my days, but I am now strong enough to share my experiences and encourage others.
I want to write. I want to speak. I want to minister to women.
I can only think of one place I can get training in all three areas: the She Speaks conference!
Back when the writing bug first bit me, I “just happened” to come across an advertisement for the She Speaks conference put on by Proverbs 31 Ministries. As I perused the website, I felt the Lord nudging me to sign up. Excitement bubbled from my fingers as I sent the link to my hubby for his input. With his encouragement, I registered for the 2008 conference using the handy dandy payment plan. I sent in 100 dollars here and 100 dollars there until I got it paid off.
In February, Samantha Reed from the Proverbs 31 office called me regarding a payment and had the misfortune of listening to me cry on the phone. The day before, on my birthday of all days, I lost my only brother, Dean. To put it mildly, I was a wreck. Samantha was the epitome of kindness on the phone. We got the payment worked out said our goodbyes.
A week or so later, when I returned home from my brother’s funeral, I was blown away to find a sympathy card from the Proverbs 31 staff. That sweet Samantha took time out of her busy schedule to get all the ladies to pray for me and sign a card. I was touched beyond words.
Summer finally came, and it was almost time to fly to Charlotte for the conference. At the last minute, I had to change my flight arrangements, as my Uncle Joe was on his deathbed from battling cancer. I got to his bedside minutes before he passed away. My sister and I helped Aunt Venia, who is more like a mom to us, plan and execute the funeral. Hours after the service, I was on a plane from Jackson, MS to Charlotte for She Speaks.
When I trudged into the hotel lobby, several hours late and physically and emotionally spent, I was greeted with hugs and concern by LeAnn Rice and Samantha Reed. “We’ve been praying for you! We’re so glad you made it!” gushed Samantha.
I lugged my bags up to my room only to be given a similar greeting by my roommate, Wendy, whom I had never met. Minutes later, I met up with other ladies I met on the She Speaks blogsite. It was as if we had known each other all our lives!
Only in the Christian faith can you find that kind of immediate connection. I will never forget the way these new friends were a healing balm to my grieving heart.
With book proposal in hand, I met with publishers, attended classes, and bonded with women from all over the country. For the first time, I truly believed my dream of being a writer wasn’t an outlandish fantasy. I sat there and gazed at a room full of women–young ones, seasoned ones, sassy ones, shy ones. While we all had different stories to tell, we were all there for one reason–we wanted to learn how to share our stories in a way that would make a Kingdom impact on other women.
I left the 2008 conference with practical information on how to be a better writer, but more importantly, I left with an encouraged heart. I felt affirmed by God and by all of the women I met at the She Speaks Conference. I planted this dream in your heart, LeeBird! Go for it!
The following year, I was able to attend She Speaks again with my best friend from high school as my roommate. With revamped book proposal in tow, I interviewed with more publishers, reunioned with friends from the previous year, and met a host of bloggy friends in person for the first time. And since I didn’t have to rush from a funeral to get there, I was actually able to relax and focus on what I was learning in the workshops!
This year, money is too tight for me to afford the registration. My She Speaks money will send my two older boys to youth camp where I pray they will be challenged to be more like Jesus.
The only way I’ll make it to She Speaks this year is if I am awarded one of the Cecil Murphy scholarships. In a way, I feel selfish even putting my name in the running, since I’ve been to She Speaks twice before. However, I would love to attend again to take advantage of the speaker classes. This Louisiana girl, who has a chronic fear of rejection, is ready to put herself out there and stand before a speaker’s critique group. I’m ready to tell my story, and I know the She Speaks Conference will help prepare me.
Regardless if I attend the conference or not, I commit to pray for those who will attend. God’s fingerprints are all over this ministry! I encourage anyone reading this post to check out the Proverbs 31 Ministries website, the She Speaks website, and the blogsites of all of the Proverbs 31 speaking team. You will be encouraged and blessed.
